Destructor of Plants (a.k.a. Please Don’t Kill the Cat)

After being woken up at O’darkthirty by Sir Barksalot having a Grand Mal seizure (first in about a month?), you try to sleep, but his walking into things keeps you awake.  You give up sleeping and do morning chores.  After you let the dogs out, helping the Boxer walk down the stairs and out the door, you feed the cat.  Only getting four hours of sleep has made you cranky, and the brown goodness of the coffee pot isn’t ready yet.

Going to the area where your seeds are started, you start checking for dryness and growth.  Removing the plastic from the sprouting plants.  you notice a lettuce start is bent in half.  Then you notice a stem of a bean plant laying on the shelf itself.  You look at the bean plants that are nice and tall – except they’re not tall anymore.  They’re chewed, broken and bent.  All of them.  Next to the starter pots is a nice big pile of chewed up leaves from the strongest seedling which is now only a stub sticking out of the pot.

Your short growing season just became a lot shorter.   You check other plants and find a couple more bent or chewed.   He has already destroyed every pepper plant.  Now he has moved on to the beans.  At this rate, nothing will be left.  After the Great Pepper Massacre, you put up everything you could to block him from getting on the shelves, and can’t figure out how the heck he pulled it off.

The cat meows at you from a nearby box.  He wants his breakfast.  He hasn’t bothered to check his bowl to see that you’ve already fed him.   You stare at this Garfield-colored furball contemplating whether or not the kids will notice the cat missing.   Taking a deep breath, you leave the area until you calm down a bit, so you can figure out how he got up there in the first place.   The foolish bean-eating beast tries to follow you still meowing wanting food which he already has but is too lazy to go look.   After all, if he didn’t see you do it, then you didn’t feed him.


Our 17 year old cat who thinks he is still a young cat and can prove it.

Briefly, you contemplate giving him a flying lesson with your foot for insisting on food after he destroyed yours, but decide ignoring him and leaving works best.   He continues to follow you begging for  what you already gave him.   You throw your boots and coat on and leave the house to check for eggs.  You stay outside working on things, and petting goats, until the urge to string up the Destructor of Plants passes.

Somehow, I think I may have to buy plants already started this year.


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